As a little girl, all I wanted was to love and be loved, there was so much love in my heart to give out but to whom exactly?
I was just desperate or maybe loll, so a friend of mine introduced me to Mr. X, we got talking and things became intense, as naïve as I was, I starting thinking things were both real on our ends, little did I know I was about to embark on a self-destructive journey.
I did everything I could to sustain the relationship because I was already head over hills in love with Mr. X which blinded my eyes to the facts that 80% of the calls and texts were done by me, I was happy I had found the one so I thought
Every event pointed to the fact that I was being used and taken for granted but I refused to believe it because I had more faith in the US and anything in the world, people pass through difficult moments in life and so they may not really be able to handle it that’s why some events turned out the way they were, it’s just a phase, every relationship has its own phase so I thought,
- X was still a corp. member so his salary was barely enough to take care of himself so I had no choice but to understand the situation, deep down me I just wanted to experience the joy of receiving gifts from the one I truly love at least once in my life but that was not possible so I only had to resort myself to daydreaming, at least if I can’t be gifted in real life I can be gifted in my dreams so I thought,
His account details were already stored on my phone, I make deposits whenever I had to because his welfare was more important than my basic needs after all what is love without sacrifice so I thought,
Visiting me became a challenge because we had no place to meet at least we need to spend some time together after all our relationship was a long distance type which we only get to see once in 4-5 months. He was broke and I had a little money saved up from my allowance money so I picked a location and paid for the hotel. On arriving my location and getting to the hotel, what a joy to finally be with my love after a while, after some hours of being together hunger came and he lamented on not having enough money to go back talk more of buying food, as a good girl having so much confidence and aspiration that our future will be better than how things were I paid for two plates of food from the little money that was left from my wallet, tomorrow will be better so I thought,
After N.Y.S.C my guy got a banking job I was so over the moon about it because everything about us will begin to make a little sense but never knew I was simply on my own all this while. After about two months or so everything about us began to change, if not I’m very busy I will call you back or no response from his end, well it might be the stress from his job after all banking job wasn’t an easy one so I thought,
Some months later I lost my dad, everything became very very rough on my end, my dad was the pillar of the house so his absence will definitely create a big loop on the house. My allowance money was nowhere to be found again because it’s the only dad that only gives us that. I could remember staying for months without toiletries but will still be doing my fine girl jare because I can’t kill myself over things I don’t have control over. So on a fateful day, I decided to phone my guy, what sup na find your girl something abeg, chai… you called at a wrong time were have just used my last cash for something, things are still rough with him I exclaimed!
Attitude began to set in I was no longer the one that tickles his fancy, every day na so-so story I dey hear if not Okon is a boy today its simbi is a girl, my guy is tired of the relationship and doesn’t know how to tell me, I saw the signs coming but it was very difficult to admit the truth. Finally, I summoned up the courage to confront him about everything but his excuses cannot even boil water, it’s time to move on so I thought,
My 3 years relationship is about to crash before my very own eyes that were all that was ringing in my head that very day, can I do without this guy? Can my life be perfect without MR. X? I became a shadow of myself because I had given MR.X every dam part of me. Sometimes we love too much and we trust the wrong people perfectly that’s why we keep getting hurt every single time. My sincere joy today is that even though my love was not reciprocated I was still able to love another person perfectly. I am a big fan of LOVE so I have not still given up on it
HOW WAS I ABLE TO MOVE ON?
HAVE I FOUND LOVE?
To be continued……………….